Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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