this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
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blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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