Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
