I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize