u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
