lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
