do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
