turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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