I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize