i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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