NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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