he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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