Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
