I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
