It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Boobs are out for the taking
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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