So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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