We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Enjoy the penises
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
