I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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