Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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