Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
