hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
