I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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