is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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