I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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