have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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