obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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