That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
