Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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