I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
