I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
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How's work?
Spinning.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Every concussion has its silver lining
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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