gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
