I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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