Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
