Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
