i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.