You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just had sex on a roof
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach