Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
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Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.