Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
