I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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