To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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