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before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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