I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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