Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize