pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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