Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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