I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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