And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize