im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
