We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
