just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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