How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize