The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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