i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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