I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
