becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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