Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
