do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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