Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
