if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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