she peed on how many people?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize