By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
