As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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