dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
