It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
