dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
