fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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