Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
