Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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