So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize